Raising a Stink

(Hopefully, this post is worth a Beverage Warning Disclaimer)

I got up nice and early, compiled a grocery list, did a few chores, took a bath and headed off to the grocery store this morning.

I was feeling good after buying groceries, as I only spent $111 and had a buggy piled high.  Headed out to the parking lot and noticed there was a slight bit of commotion. 

Seems there was a skunk in the parking lot, wandering around aimlessly and acting a touch odd to boot.  He was panting and would wander from one car to another, laying down for a bit, then moving again.

I quickly loaded my groceries…okay, okay, I slung the damned things in the back as quick as I could and as I was closing the lift gait, he came RUNNING at me.

I shoved the buggy to the side of the car and dove in, shutting the door behind me.

He promptly crept under the car and laid down.

And stayed.

And stayed.

I didn’t want to drive off because I knew he’d spray and forevermore, my car would stink.

So, the grocery manager had already called Animal Control.  The lady with animal control pulled up and scratched her head.  This was a helluva predicament. 

She decided to call the cops, because she figured it was rabid and would need to be shot…

once they got him out from under there, that is.

Oh yeah, this might be a good time to mention, he was no longer JUST UNDER my car, he CRAWLED UP on the axle and was perched with his tail swaying in the breeze.

The parking lot was clearing out where I was.  People were moving their vehicles and then getting out, watching.  There was plenty of pointing, laughing and such as well, but they were all standing WAY back.

Here I am, with cops & animal control circling my car.  I felt like I was the star on COPS!

They had me back up at varying rates of speed.  He didn’t move.  I pulled forward, nope, he was still under there.  They police told me to weave around in the parking lot and maybe that would “shake him loose”.

Negative.

He’s under there and I’m pretty sure he had a copy of Car & Driver, comparing rear traction control and maneuverability ratings, and was on his cell phone, attempting to report me for drunk driving.

Finally, the animal control lady (who said she’d NEVER dealt with anything remotely like this) suggested a water hose aimed under there might do the trick.

I pulled to the end of the building where the water hook-up is.  They were dragging the hose when someone hollered HE’S OUT!  The cops started hollering GO GO GO GO, so dammit I went.

And the little SOB (that’s stinky ol’ boy in this instance) FOLLOWED me!

I floored it, got to the highway, pulled over and YELLED, “Thank y’all!” and went home.

Totally forgot to go to the other grocery and get the rest of what I needed…I just went home. 

A trip to the grocery store:  $111
Entertaining a small town:  Priceless.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Crucis
    Aug 27, 2011 @ 15:23:00

    What! No detour through a drive-thru car wash?

  2. snigsspot
    Aug 27, 2011 @ 15:27:18

    No. There was absolutely no smell. He wasn’t too upset with my driving apparently. 😀

  3. Old NFO
    Aug 27, 2011 @ 23:25:14

    Oh… Oh… ROTFLMAO 🙂 Only YOU would have something like that happen… 🙂 At least you didn’t get ‘targeted’ 😀

  4. Rick
    Aug 29, 2011 @ 22:30:24

    Thanks for the laugh

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