The rest of the story…

Not searching for a pity party here, just stating some facts.

After the husband had the heart attack, everything seemed to be going down the tubes.

Things were getting nasty at work.  A new boss, with one helluva big inferiority complex, started firing folks left and right.  Some may have needed firing, but there’s a right way and a wrong  way to do it.  I say she had an inferiority complex because she was constantly asking everyone if everyone else was “talking” about her.  Come on lady, talk about being stuck in grade school.  She was concerned about supposedly “cliques” as well.  I worked there with my best friend from high school & my cousin.  Yes, we talked.  Yes, we ate lunch together.  Yes, we socialized outside of work.  We were all “equals”, all department heads.  Anyway, me talking to my own cousin on a regular basis was being construed as a “clique”.  I was told I needed to dissociate myself from my own family!  Now, I’d like to say here, my cousin was doing her job…it’s not like she was on the verge of being fired and taking me down the tubes with her.  Turns out, boss lady was just concerned that while we were talking, we’d be talking about her.  W.T.F??

Then, there was the wonderful 90 day evaluation.  On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being omg-you-should-be-fired-and-not-allowed-to-breathe-or-breed, I managed to eek out a few threes.  The balance was mainly 1’s.  Funny thing is, some of the questions repeated themselves…and on the repeaters, I’d get a 1 and a 3.  Like mode of dress- in one spot, I got a 3 with the  comment “impeccable dress!”.  The same question was asked 2 pages later and I got a 1.  I have NEVER been late to work- and I got a 1 for punctuality reporting to work.  I mean damn, that isn’t even an opinion- it’s something that can be proved by my time sheet!

It all boiled down to this- a decent eval and I was due the previously agreed upon $5/hr raise.  Didn’t get the decent eval, nor the raise, but got another 60 days added to my probationary period.

Oh, did I mention this was the week after I was offered the Director of Nursing position?  I mean, if I was a complete louse as the evaluation would lead folks to believe, how was I good enough to be DON? 

Madam boss was delegating more of her responsibilities to me- things outside the scope of an LPN and I was starting to worry about losing my license.  That is NOT an option for this girl.  Some of the shit she was asking me to do wasn’t just outside the scope of an LPN, but flat damned illegal.  Nothing they’ve got at that place is worth going to jail for…

So a part time job came open at a highly respected rehab outfit in Augusta.  I applied & got it, then BOOM, it became full-time.  I got a really good raise, 19 pd days off (plus holidays) right off the bat, I am now non-essential, so I don’t have to go to work in case of bad weather or disaster, I work NO weekends.  Yep, it’s an hour drive to work now v/s 20 minutes, but what the hell.  I have someone to carpool with, so that lessens the “pain” a bit.

I started Monday with two days of orientation and then took the rest of the week off.  Because….

since the heart attack, I’d had no time off except for days that the husband was actually in the hospital.  I got to the point I was constantly jittery, mean as a snake, couldn’t think and was hitting one of those low points in life where we start to question if our continued existence on the face of the earth was really necessary.

The day the car wouldn’t shift out of Park was the last straw.  I called my Daddy to pick me up & squalled like a baby.  Told him I didn’t think I could take anything more…I was at my saturation point.  He reminded me who I am, what I am and what I’m made of.  That helped, but I still felt like a ticking time bomb.

Stress at home, stress over the husband’s medical condition, stress at work, stress over the vehicle and associated problems with it, stress over stress.

Fast forward to Wednesday of this past week.  Slept late, did laundry, cooked some meals, took the car to finally be repaired and picked up a rental.  Thursday- took the rental back and got a better one (the 1st literally STUNK.  Smelled like rotting seafood).  Friday- kids’ first day of school.  Dropped them off and went to the range. 

Made my 1st 50 yard bulls-eye with the Blackhawk and then made another with the Mark II !

Bought some new clothes.  Colored my hair & painted my nails.

Now, it’s Sunday and I am READY to face tomorrow! 



7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Ami
    Aug 07, 2011 @ 12:45:01

    And you seem so rational right now. I’m impressed! I know things will get better… they almost have to, right?

    What a lot of things to happen all at once. Ack. ::uploading xanax:::

    I do have a ?? though. If the place you left is substandard and people are endangered, are you going to report it? Or is there a place to report such things to?

  2. Lnda
    Aug 07, 2011 @ 15:21:52

    Sounds like things have turned around, and getting right with your world.

    Next Wed I am going to Denver for a MRI, and a CT scan, and then on Thurs I am having cyberknife treatment for my Trigeminal Neuralgia. Hopefully it will work, and the shooting pains in my face will cease and desist!

  3. snigsspot
    Aug 07, 2011 @ 15:48:47

    Ami, the place itself isn’t substandard. I honestly believe the residents get good care (both from CNAs & nurses). It’s the boss who’s substandard. I think some of the documentation by the nurses & CNAs has been substandard, but the care is there…or the residents would be falling over dead left & right all the time. The state would be who someone would report them to if care was substandard and the unethical/illegal stuff I wrote of was strictly paperwork. I wouldn’t want that many good folks to lose their jobs, nor those residents to lose their homes over shoddy paperwork. 😉

    Linda- I’ve heard tx for trigeminal neuralgia is very successful and I hope & pray it is for you. I’ve met one person who suffered from it and it sounds excruciating!! (((Hugs)))

  4. Old NFO
    Aug 07, 2011 @ 23:50:18

    You needed the ‘downtime’ for yourself; you’ve picked yourself back up (once more), and now you are ready to go conquer the world 🙂 And the accuracy thing, I’m NOT surprised… and I’m NOT going to get you mad at me :-p

  5. portia
    Aug 08, 2011 @ 08:51:30

    Nothing like shooting holes in paper to relax and regroup. Sounds like you’re a great shot! Awesome! Since the neck arthritis has really been acting up I have not been able to shoot. It’s been maybe a year. While I enjoy going to the range, it’s not worth the three day headache that results.

  6. Skul
    Aug 12, 2011 @ 05:41:06

    Lumps in life, suck.
    I’ve had a few, NFO can probably show you bruises.
    We grit the teeth and get by.
    No options, we have to look it in the face.
    You’ll be fine.

  7. ORPO1
    Aug 13, 2011 @ 12:10:41

    Still on your side. I got faith in ya girl.
    I have my moments as well.
    And I have to leave the Air Force out of it.

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