Monday was an interesting evening for sure.  Now, I can’t pinpoint the cause(s) of the basically insane actions of my residents, but I’m pretty sure they could be linked to:

Full Moon
Winter Solstice
Total Lunar Eclipse
Over-indulgence in candy
The Christmas Season in General

Ms. R threatened to “blow my brains out” with her two 12 gauge shotguns.  No, she has no weapons, but she thinks she does.  She decided to get up & go for a walk (one of the danged CNAs had turned off her chair alarm!?!) and made it about 5 feet before ass met floor.  She was uninjured, but there’s still lots of documenting that must take place & about half a dozen sets of vital signs.  She found no appreciation for the blood pressure cuff, nor for me having to about sit on her arm to keep it still where her BP could be measured.  She was unimpressed when I told her I was bulletproof too.

Ms. B talked out of her mind all frackin’ day.  She saw lots of crap that wasn’t there, called us by some odd names & basically raised hell all shift.  However, when Ms. R went floor diving, Ms. B proceeded to tell her all about what she did wrong, concluding with the statement, “And anyway, YOU CAN’T WALK, you dumb bitch”.  At least Ms. R had a new target.

Ms. C screamed bloody murder all evening despite a nice shot of Haldol around 1600.  This chick is young, but has a multitude of problems.  She could also provide every scary sound effect for every Nightmare on Elm Street movie ever made by herself.  Oh, and did I mention she bites?

Ms. B from above finally was convinced it was time to go to bed.  The CNAs put her in bed & when I checked on her at 2100, I found her in one odd position.  She had her head toward the foot of the bed, her feet planted firmly against the headboard & her knees bent.  She looked like she was either fixing to deliver a baby or at the least, have a gynecological exam.  When I asked if she would like help turning right in the bed, she hollered, “Leave me alone, you mother fucker!”.

Ms. W sat on her porch & spit her snuff in the bushes.  Problem with that:  her “porch” was the main hall and the “bushes” were Ms. E.

Ms. R#2 was convinced her roommate, Ms. G, was a mountain lion.

Ms. A stripped herself butt-ass nekkid & was screaming obscenities.  She kicked one of the CNAs square in the jaw.

Ms. V called a CNA over very nicely, then clawed her arm half to ribbons for no apparent reason.

Ms. S stole Ms. M’s blanket & proceeded to “wash” it in the middle of the “creek”.  No water, no creek, no washing powders used.  Ms. M wasn’t amused.

Ms. T sat and got her Depends off without removing her clothes and managed to shred it.  I’ll leave out what she did with some of the shreddings.  Trust me, you’ll be glad I did.

Ms. D came out of the closet and wanted to “fuck anybody”.  Her words, not mine.

Another Ms. T pulled out her catheter.  I had one heck of a time finding the *right* hole to put it back in.  Funny how those parts shift with age.  No wonder senior citizens prefer sex with the lights off.

Ms. N managed to call every CNA on duty a “nigglet”.

Ms. D, who had a stroke and can say nothing but mamamamamamamamamama pitched a huge temper tantrum because nobody could decode what she wanted.

Ms. S, who I mentioned earlier, pulled the table cloth off the table to “wash in the creek”.  The only problem- she pulled all the dinner plates off with it.

There was more, but I’m pretty sure my subconscious has done its best to bury the rest of it.  I do wish Brain Bleach worked, as I’d like to squeegee some of what I saw out of my mind…


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. ORPO1
    Dec 22, 2010 @ 18:07:28

    Holy S%^*!

  2. Rick
    Dec 22, 2010 @ 19:19:04

    I hope you remain sane.

  3. snigsspot
    Dec 22, 2010 @ 22:09:35

    ORPO1- yeah, that’s what I said.

    Rick- That would imply I am sane to start with…and some folks would argue that point I imagine.

  4. Old NFO
    Dec 24, 2010 @ 02:06:51

    Sanity is a state of mind… more or less…. mostly less it sounds like :-0
    Glad you survived it 🙂

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