Post 1574- Special We’re Not 21 Anymore Edition

After reading NFO’s post detailing some escapades fit for someone 31 & younger, I got to thinking about the things I (we, probably) used to do that just don’t seem to have the same great (?) results for us anymore.

1) Sex in strange positions.  The morning after & 3 tubes of BenGay later, we’re wondering “Was that really worth it?”.  Maybe, maybe not.  (For educational purposes, I’d like to point out that one should NEVER use Bengay prophylacticly in the anticipation of future pain.  For one thing, it stinks.  For another- get that on your speshul parts and you’ll be doing the Saint Vitus dance & screaming)  I’m starting to think maybe there is more of a purpose for things not working as well as they did in their younger days….I mean really- 6 hours, hanging from the rafters, swing like you just don’t care?  Forget calling 911, just go on & call the mortuary.

2) Drinking.  A bottle of Absolut, a bottle of peach schnapps, several Jager Bombs, half a bottle of tequila, various other sundry drinks.  The morning after & 3 bottles of aspirin later, we’re wondering “Was that really worth it?”.  If it had ended with #1, perhaps, otherwise, NO!  I need another aspirin just thinking about it.

3) The words “All night” refer to how long we HOPE to sleep, not how long we can stay awake.  If you combine 1 & 2 with staying up all night, you might as well call in dead for the week.

4) Coming in from a night of 1 & 2 just in time to get a shower, apply Visine to the eyes & get to work.  Did that numerous times in the younger days, but now, I’d be calling in dead for sure.

5) That hill doesn’t look *that* steep.  Going up is problematic enough, but the trip down?  Bengay & aspirin again, please.

6) Touch football.  It always gets out of hand & being tackled after 40 hurts, dammit.

7) Bass fishing.  In the 20’s, it was okay.  In the 40’s, after a day of it, you’re back to the Bengay & aspirin & wondering what the hell happened to your arm.

8 ) Loud music in the car.  Oh hell, don’t care if I’m not 21, I still do this.  Pass the aspirin & hearing aid batteries, please.  I imagine the young folks I pass by with my car rattling to the beat are thinking, “Look at Granny, she can’t hear her Aerosmith anymore!”.

9) I forgot the rest of the things that were floating around in my head.  Old age does that to you, doesn’t it?  And aren’t you glad?

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Glenn Mark Cassel
    Oct 09, 2010 @ 14:57:49

    And just imagine what happens when you get into your Fifties!
    Fisrt Hand Experience.

  2. Bob Perrow
    Oct 09, 2010 @ 16:08:30

    Just wait til you’re in the shadow of SIXTY!! Like Ronald Reagan said, “At this age, you pick the evening’s activities based on what will get you back in bed at 9:30.”

  3. Old NFO
    Oct 09, 2010 @ 22:05:45

    Glenn, I’m already there… sigh… And that hanging from the rafters stuff? Don’t fall 😀

  4. Rick
    Oct 10, 2010 @ 04:52:54

    I am sorry my mind got to wandering reading this post.I went to find it.
    I will try to finish this if I find my mind.

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