Truths Recognized at Maturity

A friend emailed this to me & I enjoyed it too much to not share. 🙂 (The ones in italics I TOTALLY agree with!)

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again..

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

24. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Advertisements

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Old NFO
    Sep 23, 2010 @ 22:19:50

    1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

    Isn’t it???

    4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

    Hell, I’d PAY for one!

    5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

    Wad it up in the bottom drawer, they CANNOT be folded…

    7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

    No kidding!

    10. Bad decisions make good stories.

    Only if you survive…

    11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

    Bout 0805 every morning… 😛

  2. minimedic
    Oct 01, 2010 @ 00:27:27

    1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

    Just throw mine into the nearest active volcano/tank of molten metals. =)

    5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

    I’ve actually tried. It wasn’t pretty, but it was kinda/sorta folded.

    6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

    Maybe for signatures? My cursive writing is even more illegible than my printed letters.

    8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

    I thought I was the only person who thought this. I also thought that by wanting to know that particular detail, it made me a Sick Person. Now I attribte it to “What, I’m a medical type…this stuff intrests me!”

    21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

    Febreeze and Downy Wrinkle Remover = clothes you can wear forever. Until you spill something all over yourself…then you’re screwed.

%d bloggers like this: