Karma Baby, Karma

For the past few weeks, I’ve been seeing a woman at school who looked vaguely familiar.  I hadn’t talked to her, so I didn’t have the sound of voice to jog my memory, but today, she came up and spoke to me.

Turns out, it was one of my old running buddies um not sure what to call her, from back in the days of frequenting 24-hour bars across the state line.

She was the buddy of a buddy and that’s where the relationship ended for me.  Her best quality was being the designated driver.  I remember that one time I’d met the Dude of My Dreams of the Night and she ended up driving the car while…oh hell, I ain’t telling that one, since it’s not that kind of blog.

Anyway.

I remember one night at the Honky Tonk, a dude probably in his mid-40’s was hitting on her.  Apparently, the dude was half dopey and/or blind, as this chick was ugly enough to snag lightning after it had already struck a radio tower.

So, dude keeps on hitting on her & she keeps accepting the drinks he was steadily buying.  If memory serves correct, he was buying all 3 of us Rattle Snake Shooters* in an attempt to win favor with her.

Finally, she looked him square in the eyes and in the most trailer park trashy voice said, “I don’t do GEE-zers, bay-bay.”.

I asked her if she couldn’t have found a slightly classier way to decline his offer, even though asking her to do anything in a classy manner was about like asking a musk ox to tie a crocodile’s tennis shoes with its tail.

Well, today after speaking to me, she went off to pursue a conversation with a damned nice looking young man.  He looked repulsed.

And she wasn’t taking no for an answer.

He tried several times to be sensitive, but her intuitiveness wasn’t shining today.

Finally, he said- “Lady, you’re not a cougar, you’re more of a skunk.”.

I thought I was gonna pee in my pants I was laughing so hard.

What goes around comes around and oh, Karma has some big teeth when it bites you on the ass.

*Rattle snake shooter:  Vodka, Kahlua, & Irish Creme carefully layered.

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. D.
    Aug 17, 2010 @ 00:11:14

    this chick was ugly enough to snag lightning after it had already struck a radio tower

    “Lady, you’re not a cougar, you’re more of a skunk.”.

    Two best lines EVER!

  2. snigsspot
    Aug 17, 2010 @ 00:16:37

    The cougar/skunk line was hilarious. She’d told the dude that she was “a cougar bay-bay”. I nearly hurled at the thought of that. >.<

    Never have I wished for telepathic powers more than I did today. If I could have sent the dude a telepathic message, it would have been, "TELL HER "I DON'T DO GEE-zers BAY-BAY!".

    😀

  3. Rick
    Aug 17, 2010 @ 12:17:15

    Thanks for the laugh.Inspite of some of the mental pictures.

  4. Old NFO
    Aug 17, 2010 @ 13:28:58

    LOL- yep Karma DOES have teeth… 😀

  5. Glenn Mark Cassel
    Aug 17, 2010 @ 23:20:51

    What happens on the other side of the date line. Stays on the other side of the date line.
    That is all I have to say about that.
    Back me up NFO!

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