Humor with More than a Ring of Truth to It

Things that I found helpful by living this long.    The purpose of fighting is to win..

The sword is more important than the shield, and skill is more important than either… The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental.

1.  Don’t pick a fight with an old man.  If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.

2.  If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.

3.  I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.

4.   When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away.

5.  A reporter did a human-interest piece on the Texas Rangers.  The reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and asked him ‘Why do you carry a 45?’
The Ranger responded, ‘Because they don’t make a 46.’

6.  The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented on his wearing his sidearm. ‘Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you expecting trouble?’ ‘No Ma’am.  If I were expecting trouble, I would have brought my shotgun.’

7.   Beware the man who only carries one gun.  HE PROBABLY KNOWS HOW TO USE IT!!!

But wait, there’s more!

I was once asked by a lady visiting if I had a gun in the house.  I said I did. She said ‘Well I certainly hope it isn’t loaded!’  To which I said, of course it is loaded, it can’t work without bullets!’ She then asked, ‘Are you that afraid of someone evil coming into your house?’ My reply was, “No not at all.  I am not afraid of the house catching fire either, but I have fire extinguishers around, and they are all loaded too”.

6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Linda
    Apr 06, 2010 @ 19:34:29

    How true, how true!

  2. Old NFO
    Apr 06, 2010 @ 22:03:53

    They are ALL true… 🙂 Especially #1…

  3. Glenn Mark Cassel
    Apr 06, 2010 @ 22:15:40

    Ditto. Ditto. As my Dad used to say. An empty firearm never did anyone any good.

  4. snigsspot
    Apr 07, 2010 @ 10:18:19

    Hehehe. My dad always said an empty pistol was a rock & an empty shotgun/rifle is a stick. A hard stick, but still just a stick. 😉

  5. Rick
    Apr 08, 2010 @ 02:21:16

    To quote G.Gordon Liddy “A empty gun is a expensive club.”

  6. snigsspot
    Apr 08, 2010 @ 10:22:39

    I miss listening to him. He was a hoot & a half.

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