You know you’re headed in the right direction when…

you can assist with a wonderful soap suds enema and digital “treatment” of fecal impaction

and

still be hungry for lunch 5 minutes later.

We’re 1/2 day from the end of this course and we lost 4 classmates today. They couldn’t handle what they considered to be “gross” stuff. Hopefully, they’ll find a nice, non-gross desk job somewhere.

Some observations from the last 4 days of clinicals-
*Poop smells 100 times worse from a colostomy that never has healed correctly. (Changing that was fun)
*Patients who curse everyone else out, tend to actually like me. Perhaps that’s because I don’t treat them like sacks of potatoes.
*Little old ladies can drop the f-bomb at the drop of a hat and even quicker than that when being administered a soap suds enema.
*Little old men are generally easier to coerce into bathing than little old ladies.
*90 pound little old ladies can hold roughly 30 pounds of poop.
*I’m quicker than I thought. I’ve been swung at, kicked at and one attempted to bite me and they all missed their intended mark.
*A woman on a liquid diet sure can fill a “brief”…to the point it’s over-full. Ugh.
*The woman in Room 303 screams all blessed day and never gets hoarse.
*The woman in Room 303 only screams 2 sentences- COME HERE! & GET THE HELL OUT!
*Ignoring diabetes can leave you a 1 footed, half blind, gelatinous mass. Even when you’re only in your 40s.
*No matter how hard I try, I cannot help but start becoming attached to many of these folks.

My instructor did a progress review on all of us today. She wrote over a half page on mine and at first glance I was worried. Seems she’s overly impressed with my abilities. Excellents in enthusiasm, rapport with staff, coworkers & patients, neatness, timeliness, gentleness, knowledge of skills…

Got her convinced- now on with the rest of the world! Muahahahahaha!