Coming Soon to a Theatre Nowhere Near You (Probably)

I’ve been studying lines like a fiend this weekend.  It may only be the last full week of August, but I know December will be here before I can turn around twice and say “You’ve got 5 seconds to get in the Christmas spirit before I hairlip you“.

Should anyone have some free pre-Christmas time, show dates are December 11, 12, 13, 16, 18, 19, & 20.  8:oo p.m. on the 11, 12, 16, 18, & 19th, also 3:00 p.m. on the 12, 13, 19, & 20th.

NINE damned shows.  I’ll be too hoarse to welcome Santa Claus.

I’m still not sure how to pull off the “man” voices.  Luckily, I have a fairly deep voice for a woman, but still…

I’m not sure how we’ll pull it off either without cackling our asses off through the whole thing.  There are some really hilarious lines in this thing, some I can’t even practice without giggling over.  Some of the names are great too- Inita Goodwin & Helen Bedd?  Hahahahahaha.

Let’s see, my characters are  Thurston Wheelis, a middle-aged radio announcer; Elmer Watkins, bigtime redneck and head of Klan 249 (oh and I don’t have eyebrows for that one!), Bertha Bumiller, a middle aged mother of 3 (one daughter in love with a “sissy” and one of the sons is a reform school graduate) with a carousing husband; Leonard Childers, a womanizer who’s wife could “track a flea across concrete”; Aunt Pearl, an old lady who did something in 1932 and was a rivetor in WWII; R.R. Snavley, a heavy drinker who sees UFOs;  Sheriff “Rubber Sheets” Givens, a church camp bed wetter;  Phoebe, a midget (no shit, a midget); Inita Goodwin, a truckstop floosy;  Ike Thompson, a construction worker; and Joe Bob Lipsey, the “sissy” theater director.

7 male parts, 3 female parts.

Holy moly, what have I gotten myself into?  I must be nuts.  Sigh, the things one does for $$$.

Y’all come on down now, ya hear?  This venture is funding the Snigs Family’s Christmas. 😉


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. RT
    Aug 24, 2009 @ 01:46:03

    Geeeeeeeeeez! You are going to need a vacation after all of that!

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