God Almighty

I feel like there is a giant bullseye painted upon my forehead since I am-

female (I have boobs & a cervix)
white (that automatically makes me a racist)
conservative (that automatically makes me hateful)
Christian (that automatically makes me a nut job)
heterosexual (that automatically cuts my chances at a date on Saturday in half)
married (how are women ever going to be treated as equals if they continue the archaic tradition of marriage?)
own guns (oh shit, I told you she was a nut job!)
and I
eat turnip greens, love my Mama, think fixing something is better than buying new, think welfare is bullshit, still believe in Santa Claus, and since I haven’t sucked at the welfare teat while I’ve been poor, don’t want to share the “wealth” once I’ve worked my ass off to reach a non-poor status.

Yep, my days are numbered.

Sad thing is, everyone else’s are too.

HELP!!!

I’m not asking for much and I’ll return the following item to whoever owns it On December 21st.

I need a black NRA ball cap.

Pretty please, with tons of sugar on top.

Can anybody help a girl (playing a Klan leader) out here?

{Insert infinite eyelash batting here if that helps}

Bertha & Jody Want to Know-

if you’ve gotten your tickets yet?!

 

 

I Guess

the random dipshit who nearly stepped off the curb in front of me (in a place that would have meant he was Jay Walking) believed me when I hollered-

Step off in front of me and I’ll roll you like last week’s buritto!

James says my mean streak is showing.

Frankly, I don’t know what he’s talking about.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go back to polishing my hula hoop, er halo.

My apologies

I’m reading y’alls’ blogs and when I’m not, I’m thinking of you.

I’m just too damned busy.

After Christmas…maybe.

Now, off to play practice, then home to cook supper, finish the laundry, wash dishes and study for Tuesday & Wednesday exams.  Thankfully, I don’t have to iron, oh shit, yes I do- gotta iron my lab coat.  Have to work on the decorating some more too and ACK! I can’t remember where my name tag is for tomorrow.

Too much shit, too little time!

Have a great Sunday & I hope your Monday goes smashingly!  Think of me at least once- I’ll be in the Alzheimer’s unit for clinical.

Gurgle

Remember back in September when Atlanta flooded?  Several folks were concerned about Snigs & Co and I made this post showing how little rain/flooding we’d had here.

I’m not sure how Atlanta is fairing this go around, but it’s been double damned wet here the last couple of days.  I’ve heard five, seven and eight inches as rainfall amounts, but which is the accurate measure, I don’t know.

All I know is the peaceful (actually flooded) creek shown in the link above looks like this today-

Back in September, I was standing on the far side of the green tree toward the middle of the picture.

Not sure that tree is used to being in the midst of white water.

Um, there isn’t supposed to be ANY water there…

and finally, IckyBod Crane, anyone? 

Gross, I know.  Get used to it.

Hehehe, you know how much I hate snakes, right?  Well, some poor, pitiful snake apparently got washed out of his winter home, as there was a water moccasin catching absolute Hell, being drug downstream.  I missed getting a picture of that.

 

 

Thank You

Thank you, veterans and Happy Veterans’ Day to all.

Trust me, I have a lot more to say on the subject, just not the time to say it right now.

More later- after I get some pontoons put on the house.  Damn, it’s rained.

Muahahahahaha

Turns out my teacher is pretty damned cool. 

We had some left-over Foleys and she let me bring one home-

just so I could freak the kids out.  I told them I had something fun and to pick a number between one & ten.  The number farthest away from my number was the “winner” and the other was the “runner-up”.

Then I produced the kit and told the boy HE was the LUCKY winner.

“What’s that?”.  O.o

Made him read the label.

O.o went to O.O

Told the girl since she was the runner-up, she’d get to assist.

O.O   O.O

Apparently, I’m a damned good actress, as they both believed I was going to do it.

Unfortunately the kit also reads “For Simulation Use Only”.

We’re gonna cath the next deer the husband kills.

No school tomorrow for me!  Just a few hours of play practice & recording radio spots.  IF I can get out of my driveway that is.  It’s rained two times a flood today and let’s just say I’m glad my driveway is super wide…I can go out of it sideways, which I almost did while ago.

Gurgle.

Y’all stay safe and have a great Wednesday!

I Survived!

and so did my patient, therefore things were good.

I didn’t get bit or cussed.  She only cried for about an hour out of the 10 and part of that was when I was leaving.  She kept grabbing me & seemed to not want me to go.

I honestly think it was the most individual attention she’d gotten in eons.

But still, although I am good at it (No, not being conceited.  I just know I am good working with old folks.), I cannot fathom doing it longterm.  Every hurting old person breaks my heart and ends up keeping a part of me…

there wouldn’t be anything left after a few weeks.

Anyway, I survived, the patient survived, I did what I was supposed to, I pissed a couple of people off…

all-in-all, it was a damned good day in my opinion.

(But nobody is going to have to tell me it’s time to go to bed in a bit, that is for sure!)

Hmmm

Tomorrow’s patient…

cusses,
cries,
has MRSA,
and

bites.

Is it wrong to be glad she has no teeth?

Hopefully, I can make her smile at least once tomorrow, we’ll see.

My uniform is pressed, my bag is packed, my paperwork is done and I finally have a watch with a second-hand big enough to see- without needing my arm to be a bit longer.  I’m ready.

I think.

I’m pretty sure.

ACK!  I forgot to pack my lunch.  Must take care of that now and then off to bathe & to bed.  Nothing like starting the day at 4:00 a.m.

And to all y’all who already start their days at 4:00 a.m….

are y’all crazy or what?

Have a great Monday everyone!!